dust after rain Reading Time: 4 minutes

 

After a prolonged summer, the first shower of the season made the atmosphere cool. The petrichor filled the surroundings. Vanita was exhilarated with the aroma. She quickly came out into the garden of her small bungalow in Nashik. She wanted to get drenched in the first drizzle.  The rain God obliged and the drizzle continued for some more time. The passing cloud was large enough that even the strong breeze could not put a stop to the generous fall of the light water droplets.

Vanita was enjoying the episode. That evoked a plethora of emotions that dragged her into the period of college days 5 years back. 

That was the send-off party for the Engineering students who had passed out the Bachelor of Engineering. Vanita had reached the college a bit late. Many students had already gathered. While talking to her friends, her eyes were searching Satish. She had heard that he also had passed out with very good grades. But she wanted to meet him. Wanted to know his plans. And she spotted him. Quickly she approached him.

“Hi Satish! Congratulations.”

Satish was delighted to see her. “Thanks, Vanita. Congrats to you too.”

“Thanks Satish. What are your future plans? What are you going to do further?”

“I am going to do M.Tech from I.I.T. Tomorrow only I am going to fill in the form for GATE. I want to do post graduation in Robotics. What about you?”

“I have not finalized yet. But I also want to do post-graduation. I don’t think I.I.T. is within my reach. I will take admission in Mumbai University only.”

“Ay, come on. Why don’t you also appear for GATE? I am going to apply for GATE, tomorrow. Why don’t you join me? We both will go to I.I.T.”

Vanita remembered, they both applied for entrance test G.A.T.E. Both got admitted in I.I.T. Satish & Vanita got their preferred subjects, Satish got Robotics and Vanita got I.T. After their post-graduation, they both got placed in Mumbai in different companies.

Slowly their friendship, made them the first choice as their life partners.

Vanita analysed Satish’s behaviour. She found him ambitious, hard- working and compassionate too. Satish also wanted to check whether Vanita was fit as a life partner. He was impressed by her career-oriented behaviour, being cheerful and caring. He liked her hobbies of trekking, hiking etc. as he himself loved nature. After scrutinizing pros and cons, they agreed that they were appropriate for each other as life partners.

Got married and started happily their new life. The thick bond of love between the two souls was like bright moonlight spreading a web of affection.

A year passed merrily.

But slowly small disagreements started surfacing. A small spark started inflaming frequently. The behavioural qualities that were appreciated earlier had turned into the cause of resentment. A war of words was a regular occurrence.

Finally, Satish and Vanita reached a stage when they decided to consider the option of separating permanently. Divorce.

Vanita was perturbed. How could a person considered wonderful on many fronts just before a few months suddenly turn to be indignant on many occasions?

“ Probably, I have changed my outlook. I am focusing on the matters of dissonance. I have become more critical of where we discord.

Satish is still wonderful if I interact with him the same way when I had liked him. He has not changed at all. But we both have started emphasizing on the matters of our differences. We are overlooking the points on which we agree.

Adjustment. That is the key to happiness in every life. Also, the matters must not be blown out of proportion. We have to be flexible to accept the partner with the small little disagreements. We must not fall into the trap of ‘the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence.’

How can two personalities with plethora of emotions, match cent percent with each other? A discord on one point is very likely to be followed by concurrence  on some other front. Each personality has to be mature enough to treat the disagreement with due importance.

 A painting with only matching colours turns out a bland outcome. A dash of contrasting colours makes it attractive, isn’t it?

Even the petrichor! The wonderful aroma comes after the first rain only after the earth gets baked in the summer, a very hot summer. If it would rain ceaselessly, keeping the environment cool and wet throughout, the petrichor would not get produced. 

That is nature. Some discord is essential to make the life lovable. But one has to learn to adjust. Some sort of give and take.” Vanita resolved and returned into the house. She decided to change herself. The word “adjustment” had got deeply embedded in her mind.

Satish returned home from the office. On finding Vanita completely wet, he exclaimed, “You were not supposed to go to office. How did you get wet?”

“Satish, the first rain of the season is always alluring me. The mesmerising petrichor. Whenever possible, I try to get drenched in the first rain of the season. I was at home and it rained, How could I miss the opportunity? I enjoyed the occasion.“

“That is nice. But when did it rain? I think it rained 3-4 hours ago. And you have not changed yet?”

“Satish, I got wet. It dragged me into introspecting myself.”

“Oh, that is great! What did you think over?”

“Satish, I realized that l in the last few months our points of disagreements have increased considerably. I feel we are getting irritated over each other more than being happy with each other. That should be stopped at the earliest.”

“How great! While looking at the first rains from the window, I was also enthralled. Due to the airconditioned office, I missed the enchanting  petrichor but I too got into analysing our behaviour during the last couple of months. Worried a bit, I had decided to sort out the matters with you once I get back home. And here you are! We will finish our dinner first, then we will mull over the situation.”

After dinner, both of them opened their books of behavioural accounts.

Started writing off the dues from each one. And at the end they found the balance sheet of their life leaning heavily towards a surplus. A big amount of credit balance.

At the beginning of dawn, they cuddled each other and got drenched in showers of love.

 

Reading Time: 17 minutes

Satish was in his study room with his laptop and was trying to write a story involving a person without any money in his pocket. His protagonist, Prem Nath lost his family and his complete property in the floods that swept the entire village. The only survivor from the village, Prem Nath got some help from the government. But Prem had a setback not only on the financial side but on the emotional front also.  After pulling on for the last four years, now Prem was completely broke. His unstable mind had deprived him of any job.   

Satish wanted to describe the pathetic condition and emotional loneliness of Prem. He started typing. But his thought process was not progressing. He was not able to imagine the mental, emotional condition of a lonely person without a rupee in his pocket. Satish stretched his mind but nothing was working. He postponed his writing. After a couple of days, Satish tried again but without any luck. He was opening his laptop and closing it down without writing a single word. In such a state 15 days had passed. His future novel was stuck up at the initial characterization. He discussed with his wife Vidya. But he could not progress.

Very upset, Satish was scratching his brain. But ideas were not coming to his mind. All of a sudden, with a smile on his face, he called Vidya.

“I got an idea on how I would go through the  actual experience of Prem Nath.”

“How?”

“I will leave our house with just 100 rupees in my pocket. I will not take up any job pretending to be incapable of doing any work. That will let me enter the exact situation of Prem Nath’s, and will give me the idea of the state of my protagonist’s mind, to write something very realistic far away from imaginative ideas. I will be away in such a situation for 100 days. After 100 days, I will return. But till then I will not have any contact with you. I will not carry even my cell phone with me.”

“What nonsense! This appears very impractical to me.” Vidya protested.

“See, after my first novel, which has taken the literary world by storm, readers’ expectations about my next novel are very high. If it appears even slightly unrealistic, it will be rejected and my entire reputation will go to dust.”

“But what if you cannot tolerate this hardship? If you can not bear the situation? Do you promise, you will come back?  Will you keep in touch with me daily and let me know your position?” 

“How can I contact you? If I do, that means I am in a safe situation. Then the thought process will not be realistic.” Satish explained.

“I can understand your line of thinking. But I am very tense.” Vidya.

“See Vidya, for our next novel to be better than  the earlier one, I cannot compromise on anything.”

“I agree. But..”

“Don’t worry. Let me jump into the well of experience. I will certainly come back as the winner. But the treasure I will bring back will be of enormous value.”

“Where will you go?” Vidya.

“I don’t know.”

“How will you write down your experience?”

“That will be such an experience that all my feelings, state of emotions will be stored permanently in my memory. After my return, I will put it down on the laptop.

But Vidya, no one else should know about my plan.

I will leave the house on 1st February and will be back on 12th  May. “

On 1st February, Satish left the house with just 100 rupees in his pocket.

Vidya with a heavy heart bid him bye and wished him the best.

As the days were passing, Vidya was getting tenser and tenser. She used to stare at Satish’s mobile lying on the table. Whenever his friends called, Vidya used to pick up the call and answer it with a fake statement that ‘ he has gone on work and forgot his mobile in the house only’.

 On 12th May morning, Vidya heard a knock on the door. She opened the door. She found Satish with wildly grown hair and beard, standing in the door. With utmost pleasure, she let out a shriek,” Satish…..”.

Satish entered. Vidya made tea for him immediately. She arranged for cleaning up help, a shaving set, bathing material, and a clean set of clothes. Very quickly Satish turned himself into a civilized man.

While having lunch, Satish shared all his experiences with Vidya. After relaxing for some time, Satish said, “Vidya, now my next mission starts. I will get myself locked into my study room. I will start writing my story.  Please see to it that I do not get disturbed for 8-10 days.”

Satish entered the study room and opened up the laptop. His hands started typing out the story that was streaming from the treasure of a collection of experiences during the last 100 days.

Week after another week, passed in writing, rewriting and editing the story. Finally, when Satish was happy with the outcome, the story was submitted to the publisher. After all the necessary editing, it was published.

And the response from the readers was ineffable. Some 1000 copies were sold in just 15 days. The reprints were also in demand. Satish had reached the top of popularity.

Elated Satish was chased by publishers all over the world for yet another novel.

Satish’s thought engine started running rapidly. After a couple of months, another idea struck his mind.

He told Vidya, “I have really, got a fantastic idea. But I am not sure whether it would receive acceptance from my readers. I want to write about prisoners. Some of them committed minor crimes but they get jailed with seasoned criminals. Some have punishment for a few weeks whereas some are jailed for 5-10 years.  I want to picturise the emotional conflict they get into.”

“Yes. That is very nice.”

“Let me start imagining the feelings of a minor criminal. Since here the offense and the punishment both are soft, my imagination can reach very close to reality. Let me start writing.”

Satish got absorbed into the new story of his new novel. He was writing tirelessly and reading it repeatedly, to judge the impact of the story. But even after 3 months, it did not come to Satish’s satisfaction. He was writing and rewriting. But the impact of the story was not coming as expected. He was getting upset.

Satish said,” Vidya, the story is okay but it does not have the necessary bite. It is not getting riveting.”

“Do you think so?” Vidya exclaimed.

” I am not at all happy with the main plot. It appears very thin.” said Satish.

“Can I suggest something? Consider the emotional state of a convict with a punishment of hanging till death. The day before the execution, his emotional state would be sensational. That can generate a lot of drama and extreme feelings. You can think over this subject.” Vidya said.

Satish jumped out of his seat. “Yes. That is fantastic. I could not agree with you more. Thank you, darling. I am thrilled.”

And Satish turned his focus on the new topic and started writing. Few weeks passed. He wrote many pages. But now he reached an unforeseen hurdle. The actual state of the criminal’s mind before the execution of the punishment could not be imagined. Satish was falling short of reaching the depth of emotional conflict between sentiments about his loved ones and the feelings of the family of the person who was murdered by him.   

 Satish wanted to experience the emotional turbulence in the mind of a convict who would be hanged the next day. Yes. He was very much convinced that for the novel to be very realistic, the author had to genuinely undergo through the situation. And that was how his previous novel “PENNILESS” touched the heart of the readers and it became a thundering success. Now also, to capture the interest of the readers, the words would flow out if and only if he experienced such a state. But how could it happen?    

He discussed this matter with his wife Vidya.

“Oh! That does not seem to be that difficult. You know my schoolmate, Shashank, who is the jailor in the Shanti Nagar jail. We can talk to him about this.” Said Vidya.

“Great. Today only, you talk to him and fix a convenient time for meeting him as early as possible.” Satish was impatient about the meeting.

On the decided day, Satish and Vidya reached the jail. The security of the jail guided them to his house. A nice bungalow nearby the stone-walled jail was a paradoxical picture.

As soon as they entered, Shashank with his loud and clear voice welcomed them.

“What a great pleasure to see you both! Tell me what brings you here? ”

“Shashank, you know Satish is a writer.”

“Yes, of course! I have read his recent novel ‘PENNILESS’. That was wonderful”

“Now his new novel revolves around a convict who is sentenced to death. He needs your help in this regard.”

“Oh my God! But how a stone-hearted person like me, can help you in writing matters?”

“Shashank, jokes apart, Satish needs your help in to be in touch with a convict who is sentenced to death. He wants to know the exact state of mind of such a convict.”

“I can always do that. These days the punishment of hanging till death is very rare. But one or two of the jailed convicts do get hanged. The murder has to be cold-blooded. Then only they get such an extreme punishment. I will introduce one or two of the convicts to you. You talk to them and collect whatever information you want to pick up.”

“No, Shashank. By an interview, I will not get the true picture of his feelings. I want to be with the person for at least a few days, be friends with him and then I will get a chance to peep into his heart to feel the actual state of his mind.” Satish said.

“How is it possible?”

“Shashank, you are our best friend and you have the necessary authority. You can think of some solution. And as Vidya said, only you can help us out.” Satish pleaded.

“Okay. I will think over whether I can offer you any solution. Give me a week. I will check out all the possibilities within the framework of the law. We will meet this coming week.

Now let us talk about something else. Tell me how is your daughter, Archana? Is she in Texas or Boston?”

“Archana is fine. She is in Boston. Her daughter is growing up fast.”

“How old is the daughter now? Last year we had attended the birthday party when the family was in India. Six or Seven?”

“Yes. She is seven years now. Just yesterday we talked. I told her we will be meeting Jailor uncle soon. But she remembers you and Sunita very much. Sunita had prepared such a lovely pineapple cake for the birthday.

When is Sunita coming back from Puri? Is her brother’s marriage over?”

“No. The marriage is the day after tomorrow. I am flying tomorrow morning and will return a day after the marriage. Sunita will be there for one more week.”

“Ok. Shashank what would you have Vodka or whisky?”

“Nothing. I have to drive back.”

“A small ‘drink’ before the meal is always welcome is what you always say. Dinner will be served soon. So, a quick one.” Satish prepared the glasses.

After a nice dinner planned by the cook, and a very jovial evening, Satish and Vidya returned home.

“If  Shashank can manage something and I get to be in touch with my protagonist, that will be great,” Satish said.

After four days, Satish received a call from Shashank. He had found some solution. He was coming to dinner that evening and would discuss the matter in detail.

The bell rang and Satish opened the door. Shashank was in, at the decided time. Vidya had readied the dinner.

With a glass of whisky in hand, Shashank took a position in front of Satish and Vidya. 

Shashank started. “I had to think a lot about the situation. And this is the solution I have come out with.

Well Satish, you will be charged with a double murder and will be sentenced to hanging till death. You will be lodged in the same room where an actual convict is counting his last days. The date of your hanging will be a week after that of the convict. Do you agree with this idea?

After the hanging of the actual convict, 5-6 days later we will receive an acceptance of the pardon from higher authorities and you will be released. Is it okay?

Most importantly, this plan should not leak out to any other person. Only three of us should know about this scheme.

And I am sure, Satish will get an experience of life. And a more thrilling novel will come into existence.”

By this time they had finished the quota of their drink. After the sumptuous dinner, Shashank called his driver and left the house.

“Looks like a fantastic idea.” Satish was very happy.

“But I am scared. We are taking a big risk.” Vidya.

“What risk? Inside the jail, the convicts are not tortured. They get food and all the essentials. Don’t worry at all. I am thrilled.” Satish.

“But I am worried. If anything misfires?” Vidya.

“What can misfire? There is no chance that anything will go wrong.” Satish was excited about the plan.

The execution of the real convict was fixed one month away. Shashank asked Satish to go to him in two-three days. And the following day he would be put into the cell of the convict.

The day arrived. Satish bid bye to Vidya only to see her after a month.

Satish reached Shashank’s house. When he was taken to the cell, he was stripped of all the things on him. Even his mobile phone was taken away.

 He was given the dress of the convict. Satish looked at himself. He had goosebumps. He was happy that Vidya did not see him in this dress.

While entering the cell, he was read out the charge sheet. “Mr. Satish committed cold-blooded double murder of a man and his wife. The court has given him the sentence of hanging till death which will be executed on 7th  May 2001.”

 Satish with a feeling of guilt of killing a person entered the cell. Poornaji Rao, the convict was there sitting on a stool. Satish was also given a small stool. The door to the unit was then locked.

“You come out to the mess at 12 when the bell rings for lunch. You will be given a chatai to sleep for the night. A bowl and a glass to drink water will be given to you along with a plate for your meal. Your plate will be cleaned by yourself after every meal.  You will take a bath every day before 8 in the morning after which you will get breakfast.  Any question?”

Without waiting for Satish to ask any question, the attendant left.

10-12 minutes nobody talked. After some time the other person opened his mouth. “I am Poorna Rao. What is your name?”

In a grim voice, Satish answered, “Satish.”

 “What is your sentence?”

“On 7th May, direct up.” Saying this he waved his head indicating upwards.

“They are sending me up on 27th April.” Poorna Rao said.

“Double Murder. Two brothers were after me for my piece of land. For two years I tolerated it. But then I could not bear it any longer. They had come to my house to pressurise me to sell my land to them. I once again refused. They started quarreling with me. They were threatening me to quit the place or face the consequences. I got upset. Somebody threatening me, Poorna Rao. I picked up the sickle which was near to me. I charged up and straightway cut his throat. His brother picked up the sickle and charged towards me. I held his hand and twisted it. He dropped the sickle. I grabbed it and put straight onto his neck. He moved and blood oozed out. His throat was cut. He also died instantly. I did not run away from my house. After an hour, police came and arrested me. My wife and children were crying uncontrolled. I openly admitted my crime in front of the judge. The judge did not hesitate to hand over to me, my death sentence.”

“Are you feeling bad now? “ Satish asked.

“Yes. When I think of my family, parents I am. They are left without any support. I do not regret killing the brothers. But I feel irresponsible that I left my family on their own. I do not know how they will take care of themselves.”

Satish saw tears in Poorna Rao’s eyes.

Poorna Rao asked Satish about his crime.

“I am an Engineer. I was living happily with my two children and wife.

 I murdered my neighbor who was also educated. But he was in the bad company of friends. He had taken a lot of, about a lakh of rupees loan from me. His wife used to complain about his ill-treatment to her. He had stolen all her jewelry and lost everything in gambling. Once his wife told my wife that her husband had threatened her if she did not hand over her mangalsutra, he would slit her throat and take it. My wife pleaded to me to prevent this atrocity. I went to their house. Her husband had a knife in his hand and he was charging towards her to get the last of her jewelry, the mangalsutra, which is the very holy ornament for ladies. I shouted at the person. He was in a horrible mood.  He charged towards me saying this was their personal matter and I should go away. I refused to budge. I insisted he drop the knife. He shouted, “why are you interested in her? “

He looked at his wife and yelled, “ You prostitute. You must have had an affair with this man.” He stabbed his wife twice. She collapsed in a puddle of blood. He then turned over to me and attacked me with the knife. I was swift in ducking that but he fell in such a way that the open knife pierced his stomach and he died instantly. Two murders. And I was the only witness.

I informed the police. My wife was baffled. She was shocked.

In court, I was charged with a double murder, killing both husband and

wife. My pleading innocent did not have any proof. The judge sentenced me to death.”

With a grave face, Satish added,” They have  booked me on 7th May”

Satish noticed that Poorna Rao had total sympathy with him, despite his own precarious position.

The bell rang and they had to go to the mess with their plate and bowl to have lunch.

Slowly, Satish realized Poorna Rao was not a hard-core culprit. Superficially, he was showing up to the world that he was a hardcore criminal and did not regret his action of killing. But from within, he was very soft and repenting his action of killing though the murdered persons deserved it.

They became good friends. Poorna Rao once said, “ Even though you are educated, you had to go through this ordeal. I am a born farmer. We put our sweat and blood to produce the paddy and some grains and we are happy. That is the way we farmers live. But any injustice or atrocity we can not tolerate. “

Slowly Satish and Poorna Rao became thick friends. Satish was getting exactly what he was searching for. Poorna Rao had let Satish enter his deeper feelings.

27th April was approaching very fast. Poorna Rao was getting upset thinking about the problems his family would have to face.

On 25th April news came that Shashank sir had gone on emergency leave as his father-in-law had expired. Manoj Dighe had taken over his place. But Satish was so much entangled with Poorna Rao, that this news did not mean anything to him.

On the 27th, Poorna Rao was woken up early. He was asked to finish his morning duties. After the bath, he was given fresh clothes to wear. At around 6 he was escorted to the hanging pole. Satish was very sad. His very close friend was being taken away from him. He had a very emotional hug and he could not control his sob.

Poorna Rao said, ” Don’t worry my friend. I will go up and book a place in heaven for you where we can share our feelings. Just a matter of few days.

We will meet soon.”

Heavy-heartedly, he departed.

Poorna Rao left this world. Satish was grieved.

“Take courage, Mr.Satish. Eight days more and you will also have to follow the same procedure. After all, you people are heartless. When you killed someone, your sensitivity had gone for a walk, Now when your turn comes, you are feeling sorry.” Manoj Dighe, the jailor remarked.

Before leaving, Manoj Dighe said,” Mr. Satish, 7th May is also very near. You also get ready for the departure.”

Satish was shocked to hear his statement. “ Sir, When is Shashank Sir coming back?”

“Why, is he going to free you? Mr. Satish, Shashank is out of the country. And he won’t be back for six months. So, forget about him. You won’t see him in this life.”

“Are you serious, sir?”

“Yes, of course.  But look at destiny. An uneducated Poorna Rao got hung with the rope which will be used for an educated person like you. Education or no education. The animal instinct is the same in every person and they kill the other person. “

“Sir, can I speak to my wife?”

“Yes, why not. The last desire of the person who is going to leave this world is always fulfilled.”

“Can I give her a message? I want to see her urgently.”

“Satish, I will give her your message that you want to see her urgently.

But I find this word urgently, funny. Arrey, you are left with only a few days. Everything is very urgent. Only a few days. So, I will contact her immediately and give her your message. Okay?”

Satish was alarmed. This new jailor did not know the plan they had executed for his next novel to be realistic. Satish decided to tell Vidya to come here immediately. She would make the situation clear to Mr.Dighe.    

In the evening, Dighe came for the visit. Satish was anxious about the status of the message. When Dighe came to his cell, Satish looked at him expectantly. Dighe said, “Satish, we could not get the line despite our trying several times. Don’t worry. Tomorrow, I will send the messenger with the message to Mrs. Satish.  He will bring her along by evening.”

Dighe left the cell and asked the attendant to see if Satish wanted anything.

Satish was getting tense now. Why did Shashank have to leave the country now?

The next day, Dighe took a round in the jail only in the evening. When he came to Satish’s cell, he talked to the guard on duty and started leaving. Satish was annoyed that the word given by Dighe yesterday, did not bear any value. When he had promised that his man would bring Vidya, along with him, there is no information about it. He called out to Dighe sir.

“Sir, what happened? My wife did not come?”

Dighe turned back and came close to Satish’s cell. Slowly, he whispered, “ She is very busy these days. When she gets time, she said, she will try to see you.”

Satish was shocked. What would Vidya be busy with? What is more important than my life? Has she lost interest in me?”

Satish’s mind was getting occupied with some uneasy thoughts.

In the night, sleeping on the chatai, Satish’s mind was wandering covering some unwelcome thoughts.

“I am shocked with Vidya’s message that she would visit this place whenever she gets time. What must have happened? Her friend Shashank is also not to be seen. Could there be any link between these two happenings? Also, Dighe seems not to know our plan? Will he really hang me on 7th May? He is always referring to the last desires of the dying person. Am I really in the last days of my life?

Could that be the ploy between Shashank and Vidya, to get rid of me with this plan?  Oh my God! Where am I stuck? In the morning I must try and tell Dighe sir about this plan. Deciding this course of action for the next day, Satish slept.

In the morning, the guard enquired whether Satish wanted any specific thing to be done? Any unfulfilled desire he was holding? In that case, the jail would try to satisfy those things.

Every staff passing by this cell had a very sympathetic look at Satish. Satish was getting disturbed by their pitying looks.

In the night, the watchman said, ”Don’t worry saheb. Everything will be alright.

You are so much educated. But still, you committed a murder. Everyone of the staff is perturbed that an educated, highly cultured person could murder, which has such an ultimate punishment. One wonders if God is there. Now sleep well saheb. Last few nights in this life.

Okay, Saheb. Sleep peacefully.”

Satish was getting upset with such remarks.

“So, this is the last period of my life. I should have spent my life a little differently. I should not have taken risks such as this. And this has brought the end of my life.”

Satish lost in such thoughts, went off to sleep.

The next day morning during his visit, Dighe came to Satish’s cell.

He tried his last effort. “Dighe Sir, I want to tell you something. With Shashank Sir, I had a plan to stay with a convict who would be hung soon. I wanted to feel the sentiments of the person who would leave this world just the next day. I wanted to know the state of their mind. So, Shashank sir created a false report and put me in jail. But unfortunately, he had to go on leave. And here I am stuck. So please believe me. I have not committed any murder. I wanted to write a story on the mental state of the person to be hanged.

Please, do not arrange to hang me.”

“But where is your wife? She also did not care about you.

I am sorry. But I have to follow instructions from the higher authorities. Be ready to leave this world the day after tomorrow.”

The next day Satish was given a sumptuous meal. But he was extremely disheartened. He recollected all his plans. They all are were doomed. His love for his wife was proved to be disastrous. One after another negative thoughts were taking charge of his mind.

‘How much I loved Vidya. Even if she was away for just a day, I would miss her so much.  Every matter, we used to discuss. It was not that we used to agree on every point. But we saw to it that the other person was convinced. When I got a big cheque from the publisher, the first thing I did was that I bought gold bangles for her. Whenever my story was getting rejected, we both used to feel extremely sad. When I was ill and admitted to the hospital, she took care of me during my stay in the hospital, and after I returned home, for the following couple of months. We laughed together. We cried together. She was my better half, in a real sense.

But now, she has planned to get rid of me!  Still, I will miss her in heaven.

And my daughter, Archana. How much I loved her. I wanted to dedicate my next novel to her, for her inspiration. That desire remained unfulfilled. And the son in law, and the sweet little granddaughter. I loved them too.

But all of them will now hate me for committing a murder. All the love and respect they had for me, will be reduced to nothing.

The entire society will look at me as a murderer. I will be condemned by everyone. I will be the topic of gossips. All relatives and my fast friends will  distance themselves from me

No one, not even my loved ones will understand me. They will consider me as a  murderer and will try to forget me completely. I am finished. Totally finished.’

In the morning, he was woken up early. After the bath, he was given new clothes. At 5:30 he was escorted to the place where he would be hanged. A black mask was put around his head. He could not see anything. He was then taken to the spot. The rope was tied around his neck.  Satish was told to remember his most loved person. Satish heard some quick movement of people. Everything was dark. Countdown started. Three, Two. One.

And ….and … instead of rope around his neck getting tighter, the mask was taken off. And Satish saw Vidya, Shashank, Dighe and some other persons were in front of him. 

Shashank came forward and said, ”Satish, this was a real-life experience for you. Now we want a wonderful novel from you which would be remembered and appreciated for a very long time.”

Satish, shocked and delighted, came down supported by Vidya.

After reaching home, Satish started writing the novel on the mental state of the convict.

Reading Time: 6 minutes

THE SAVIOURS-1630

Dr. Ramkrishna Rao checked the pulse at the root of the right thumb of the patient, looked at the condition of his tongue and diagnosed the disease.

“Okay. Take this kadha three times a day and do the fomentation on stomach before lunch and before dinner with this herb. In 8 days, you will be free of your problem. Remember no non-veg and no liquor during the period of treatment. You see me after 4 days,” saying this Dr. Ramakrishna Rao handed over a small packet to the patient. The patient took the medicines, politely bowed folding hands, paid the charges and went out of the clinic. Then the next patient in the waiting, entered the consultation room.

Dr. Ramkrishna Rao was the only qualified doctor in the town VADGAON. He had a degree in Ayurvedic stream  of Medicines. He was very popular among all the residents of Vadgaon. His skill of diagnosing the disease was very much appreciated and patients were sure of relief from his medicines. Considering the population of town, this single doctor had to bear an extra load of health care.

Need of another expert doctor was fulfilled by Dr. Satish Raje, opening a clinic in the town.  Dr. Satish Raje was a M.B.B.S. from allopathic stream. Slowly but surely, he established himself as an expert medical practitioner. The younger lot of the town had turned to him for most of their medical problems.

Slowly the town got divided into the followers of therapy they chose. Ayurvedic followers and Allopathic followers.

Ayurvedic followers used to boast of the age-old treatments, the minimum side effects and attacking the root cause of ailment. This caused the slower results but the solutions were long lasting.

Allopathic treatment had immediate results and quick solutions to any sort of ailment. But each treatment had noticeable side effects and had to take in a lot of medicines to suppress the side effects.

Both the Doctors were considered saviors of the town. 

One Wednesday, Dr. Ramkrishna Rao returned from clinic just to discover that his 7-year-old son had high temperature. Doctor checked his pulse, noted the condition of tongue, throat etc. and diagnosed for a certain problem and started necessary medicines consisting of bhasma, kadha and some herbs. To his wife he said, “Our child should be alright by tomorrow morning. He will be up and active.”

Dr. Ramkrishna retired to bed at his usual time.

Next morning Dr. Ramkrishna got a jolt when his treatment had not worked. The child’s condition had worsened. He increased the dose and told his wife “I have increased the dose. Now by evening he must get relief.”

At the clinic, Ramkrishna was examining the patients but he was little worried about his son. Closing the clinic after attending the last patient, he rushed home. He found his son still suffering. He checked his throat, tongue and checked the pulse. It had worsened.

He told his wife, “Due to season change, our boy is suffering. The heavy rains, during last 4-5 days, have caused the imbalance of kaff dosha and so this illness. I will change course of medicines and now I am sure our child must get relief.”

Dr.Ramkrishna himself made some kadha and gave it to his son. Extremely weak, the child somehow drank the kadha.  Ramkrishna was alarmed by son’s state.  He tried some other medicines.

In this condition 4 days passed. On Saturday evening Rmakrishna lost his courage. How to save the child was his main worry. He had staked all his experience and knowledge. But nothing had responded positively. His wife was extremely concerned.  “Now what?” she said.

“I also do not know. I have tried all what I could think of.”

“My God, if you have given up, how can we save our child? If you do not get angry, can I suggest you something? Why don’t we consult Dr.Raje?”

“That means accepting defeat against the other type of treatment?”

“Where is the question defeat or victory? We have to save our child, anyhow.”

“Yes, I know.”

After a pause Ramkrishna said,” Okay I will go to Dr.Raje’s house and ask for help. Give me umbrella. It is raining heavily. I will meet him in his house. I do not want to take car to Dr. Raje. Car will be identified by everybody.  My going to Raje for help, will be considered ignominious for Ayurveda.

I have to  take care that no one sees me going to Raje.”

Saying this Ramkrishna stepped out of the house. The heavy rains were slashing the town. Still, he wanted to go and see Dr. Raje as other methods of communication had failed. The phones were out of order. Ramkrishna saw someone coming in the direction of his house with umbrella tilted attempting protecting himself from heavy showers of rain. The person came very close. That was Dr. Raje.

“Dr.Ramkrishna, where are you going in this heavy rain?” Raje said.

“Dr. Raje?  What brings you here?”

“Dr. Ramkrishna, I need your help desperately.“

“My help? What for? “

“Ramkrishana, my 9-year-old son is seriously ill since last Tuesday. I tried all possible treatment but nothing has worked. In these heavy rains, only you can save my son. Please give me medicine to cure my son.”

“Sure. Tell me what is the problem with your son. But why are we standing in the rains. Let us get in to my house.”

After entering the house, Dr.Raje explained all his observations during last four days. Ramkrishna thought for a few moments.

“Dr.Raje, I need to check the condition of your child. I will come to your house with few of the medicines I guess, would work. But the drug to be administered will be decided only after actually examining the child,” saying this Ramkrishna went into another room and opening a cupboard took out some herbs.

Dr.Raje thanked sincerely and was about to start returning home.

He asked ”But Ramkrishna, where were you going in such a heavy rain?”

“Dr.Raje, actually I was also going to see you only.”

“Me? What for? ”

“My son is also ill since Tuesday. I have tried all that I could but his condition is worsening. Only you can save him.”

“Where is your son?”

“Come, he is in this room.  Please check him and as I told you he is suffering since Tuesday.”

“Can I get a stethoscope?”

It was given to him.

Using the stethoscope Dr. Raje checked the patient.

“Don’t worry. Get these medicines from store and your son will be all right by tomorrow evening.”

“Thank you so much. I will send my assistant immediately to medical store. Get the medicines and will give them to my son.”

Dr. Raje started to go to his house. Dr.Ramkrishna joined him.

“Let us forget about people finding about our taking help of the alternate therapy.

I will take out my car. It is raining extremely heavy. We will reach your place quickly. I am carrying few medicines with me. After inspection, we will give the dose immediately.”

Dr.Ramkrishna took out his car in heavy rain. Dr.Raje took the seat next to him.

On the main road, Dr. Ramkrishna was driving carefully.

“Let us halt at the medical store. “ Dr. Raje told. They picked up the medicines  needed to give to Dr. Ramkrishna’s son. Then they moved further.

The car came to screeching halt at Dr. Raje’s bungalow.

Both the doctors, protecting themselves from rain, rushed into the house.

“Make us some hot coffee quickly.” Dr.Raje told his wife.

Instead of waiting for the coffee, they both entered the room where Dr. Raje’s son was sleeping under the influence of high fever.

Ramkrishna took child’s hand and measured his pulse. Son was awakened. Ramkrishna told him to show his tongue. Observing the condition of the tongue, Ramkrishna shook his head. He also checked the condition of the skin of his face.

He immediately took out his chest of medicines. Gave some measured quantity of garlic powder, added dried ginger. Mixed it with honey and told the child to lick the paste. He also took out some herbs and told Dr.Raje to make kadha and give him a glass full. Further he told Dr.Raje to repeat the dose early morning and before lunch next day.

He wound up his chest and started for his return.

Mrs.Raje reminded them about coffee.

“No. Thanks. But I must rush home.”

“Yes. Thanks a million Dr.Ramkrishna. Give the medicine to your son immediately. And if you do not find any improvement, send your assistant to my house, any time you think necessary. I will come to your house in my car without any embarrassment of detection by other people.”

“Thanks. I also hope your son gets alright soon.”

Dr. Ramkrishna got into his car. He drove back carefully.

When inside the house, he took out the medicines bought from the store, and gave the recommended dose to his son.    

Ramkrishna without having a wink, monitored his son continuously throughout the night, his wife sitting beside him.

The temperature came down and no other symptom was visible. The son had a nice, sound sleep.

 Here in Dr.Raje’s house also both the parents watched their son slowly recovering from worse condition. By morning the patient was out of danger.

Both the very serious patients got the right medicines and the families were extremely relieved to see their children springing up to good health.

On Monday, Dr. Ramkrishna Rao opened his clinic at the scheduled time without any tension in the back of his mind, about the health of his son.

 Dr. Raje was also in cheerful mood when he attended the patient in his  dispensary.

Reading Time: 16 minutes

DAUGHTERS OF INDIA

FOUR FRIENDS

‘What is going on? Keep quiet.  If I find anybody talking, I will throw the girl out of class and will send her to Principal” announced the class teacher Ms. Pareira. The class quietened.

 Complete silence prevailed.  But Archana could not leave their conversation incomplete. She continued in a subdued voice. “So, you three are coming to my house tomorrow after school gets over,” Archana whispered.

“Yes. But we will have to leave a little early as I am expecting some guests at home. My aunt is coming.” Shubhangi said.  Rageshri was a little upset over Shubhangi’s reply. “You always have something or other” Kalpana said.

“Oh! There is still some discussion going on” Pareira was annoyed. She directly looked at Shubhangi.

“You there. Get out of the class and wait there till Principal calls you.”

“But madam …. I have not done anything.”

“Don’t tell lies. Get up and leave the class.”

Shubhangi hesitated. Madam Pareira got irritated. She pointed at Archana.

” And you too. You were also talking. Archana, you also leave the class.”

“What is this? This is atrocious.” Rageshri whispered in Kalpana’s ears. Pareira saw this. “And you two. Both of you also stand outside. Now you will know what class discipline is. Be quick. Do not waste time.”

So, the four best friends were standing out of the class waiting for the call from the Principal to receive firing for undisciplined behavior.  They all were tense and did not utter a single word. Their heads were down.

When peon took them to the Principal’s room, they were almost in tears.

“So you are from class nine A. What are our names?”  without raising her head from the files, the Principal murmured.

“Shubhangi”

“Archana”

“Kalpana”

“Rageshri”

“So, you were making noise in the class. Don’t you understand your responsibility? Behaving like kindergarten children. In two years, you will appear for SSC and then you will head for college. Is this the image you are going to carry to the outside world?”

Meanwhile, some office members were waiting for the Principal’s time to talk to her. When the principal noticed them, she turned towards them.  “Ok. This time I am pardoning you. Any more such complaint and I will call your parents to hand over the order of rustication of their daughters. Understand? Now go and attend your class.” Saying this she indicated the girls to leave the office and she started looking into administrative matters.

All the four girls, relieved a bit, quickly left the principal’s cabin and ran towards their classroom.

SHUBHANGI

Yes, She was one of them. Shubhangi was her full name but everybody called her Shubha.

Shubha was the only daughter of her parents. Devdhar – a middle-class family. Mr.Devdhar was very intelligent but not ambitious. Happy with whatever job he had. Satisfied having a promotion from clerk to head clerk. But after their marriage, when he got his first child – a daughter, he decided to do something not traditionally bound. The couple decided to have no more children. Against the sentiments of their family members, they were happy with a single child that too a daughter.

Devdhars brought up Shubha in a completely different manner hereto not known to their family. Shubha was admitted into English medium school and not their vernacular medium. She was given the training to follow Hindu traditions along with the new thinking introduced by the school environment. Devdhars were very particular about treating Shubha as their son and letting the age-old traditional idea of the girl being of inferior gender not influence her upbringing.

Result-a confident, ambitious, intelligent, traditionally not so bound human being introduced to society.

ARCHANA

Archana was born to a slightly unconventional couple. Never concerned to follow the rituals; religion, cast, language barriers, etc. themselves, the Deshmukh couple naturally brought up their only daughter as a child without any inhibitions in life. Since both of them were from communities speaking different languages, the obvious choice of medium of schooling was English. Born a little shy, Archana was cautious in opting for different activities in society. But once adopted, Archana performed exceedingly well in every field. Along with studies trekking, hiking, etc. were her field of interest. Perseverance was highly noticeable in her approach to every activity she chose. She did not hesitate to mix with different groups but did so with caution. So, usually, it took time for her to accept somebody in her circle. But once in her group, Archana would be a dependable friend in every situation when anybody needed guidance, help, assistance or just to open out the mind.

Result – a personality intelligent, diligent, bankable, having independent thinking, without the influence of preconceived notions.

KALPANA

Kalpana was the second child of Parchure couple. A very tradition-influenced family, Parchures were concentrating on their first child, a son. All favors were reserved for the son. By a stroke of luck, Kalpana got admitted to an English medium school. But not so educated Parchures took care that their daughter follows the same path as Mrs. Parchure had lived through. Females are born to serve the superior male gender was the basic thought being injected into Kalpana’s mind. Kalpana was intelligent, bright but always overshadowed by an inferiority complex. Kalpana was performing sufficiently well in school but did never receive encouragement from her parents.  She never got permission for picnics from school if it was extended overnight. Kalpana was burdened by kitchen work even during her examinations. She was told her goal of life should be to become a good housewife and should concentrate on only house matters.

Result- an intelligent personality not allowed to grow fully in an open field. It was trimmed to the ideas of parents who carried traditional bias against feminine sex.

RAGESHRI

Rageshri was born to a family of a very traditional business community. Education was of a very low priority not only to girls but also to male members of the family. In such a scenario Rageshri found a balance between family thinking and the reality of the present. Intelligence combined with sensitivity to other family members’ points of view played important role in Rageshri’s career. Initial opposition for post-graduation later was converted into support for further specialization in a foreign country.

Result- a strong-willed character, taking traditional restrictions on stride.

QUEST – I                                      

Shubha entered the USA for post-graduation.  Her new life was woven around JAVA, PYTHON, and the WEB world. New friends. New assignments. Away from parents. Away from old friends.

University classes –different from earlier classes. Shared room. Roommates from different countries. Food availability – western food. Indian preparations – Indian grocery stores.

Everything new. Shubha got used to the new environment. Food habits. Behavioral styles, and new style of clothing too. She changed her lookout at clothing. She changed completely.  She adopted the new lifestyle.

Her high IQ made her perform very well in her career studies. Regular telephone calls to parents and reporting progress made Devdhars happy. After two long years, Shubha got her Master’s. Devdhars were looking forward to Shubha’s return to Mumbai and look for a job. Since India also was making progress fast under changed political leadership, Devdhars thought Shubha would get a job of her choice in India only. But Shubha had different plans. She applied to Microsoft, the best job provider for IT aspirants in the US. Shubha got the job and she conveyed the good news to Devdhars. On one hand, they were happy that Shubha got the job of her choice but on the other hand, they also realized that this happening was going to delay her returning to India and her marriage prospects to a boy of their choice. They were prepared that after marriage, to set up her new life with her life partner, it was inevitable that she would stay away from their house and they would be able to visit her place anywhere in India whenever they missed her. But now symptoms were that she was going to stay so far away that their visiting her would be far from easy. Here in US Shubha was getting extremely busy with her job. More assignments, more success, more promotions. In this fast-paced life, she came across Amit who was her classmate in Engineering college in Mumbai. He was also in the IT field but with Google. When she met him first in a conference, it rekindled her college days in India. Amit was a very nice boy, very serious and studious then. Shubha found Amit the same. Some sort of strange feelings were generated in Shubha. She thought if he was inclined, Amit would be the right guy to settle with for life. As per her upbringing, she was interested in an Indian boy, of her religion even if he is from a different community. She thought of her parents. Considering their thinking, Shubha thought Amit would earn their approval. She approached Amit with the proposal and Amit was too glad to coincide. Both decided to get married in India in their parents’ presence.

Shubha disclosed her decision to her mother.  Her mother was upset at first instance. Shubha choosing her life partner on her own without their consent was unacceptable to them. Though Devdhars had nurtured Shubha to be completely independent, her being independent to the extent of choosing the life partner was shocking to them. Secondly, the boy was from a different community. How can they face the orthodox relatives? Devdhars first opposed the idea and told Shubha to reconsider. They told her of some boys in acquaintances who were well behaved, from their community, and most importantly settled in India only. That would make matters easier. But Shubha was firm on her decision. She tried convincing her parents that the boy was Indian and they would hold up to the very first opportunity to shift to India if their career was not affected. Devdhars were not impressed by this promise and were getting slowly inclined to accept the idea of Shubha settling in the USA. They were getting satisfactory reports of Shubha’s progress there and were not prepared to apply brakes to her climbing up the ladder by imposing their ideas on her. Finally, both the parents met in Mumbai and chalked out a plan for the wedding in Mumbai after consulting both the candidates.

Nearly a year had passed for their marriage and Shubha was little free to think of her friends from the school. She was so busy with her career on top of newly married life, that she could not spare even a few minutes to think about them.

That evening when she returned home from the office after a hectic schedule, she freshened up and arranged for the dinner to be had soon after Amit’s arrival. Cooked on Sunday morning some Indian-styled vegetable, was taken out and put into microwave for making it hot. Some gravy too was made ready to accompany rice. She looked at her watch. Amit would take nearly an hour more to reach home. She was happy that she had applied for a competitive event in software. She took out the papers and was brushing up the material to be sent to the apex body for evaluation. When Amit arrived, they finished their dinner and sat down to discuss her paper for the competition.

QUEST – II

Archana completed her masters in India in biological sciences.  Decided to pursue studies to get a doctorate, she applied to various universities for admission.  Since the possibility of financial aid from parents was very bleak, Archana opted for a university in the US that provided a teaching assistantship to support her expenses during studies. One of the family acquaintances, who was staying in the same city, was contacted, and with her help staying arrangement was made. And Archana started chasing her career goal in a far-off place, away from her own country and new atmosphere.  She had to complete her masters as a part of an integrated course. This she did with great satisfaction. The research environment which demands a lot of self-initiative was new to Archana.  Colleagues from different countries were part of the complex surrounding. In addition to this, the cold atmosphere made the matter more difficult. During winter, the below minus 20 degrees temperatures, demanded a different kind of clothing especially the woolens which she had never even heard of. The snow falls, wading her way through heaps of snow, etc. was very new to Archana which added more thrills to her life than a hindrance. She added skiing as her new avenue to her extracurricular activity in addition to trekking, hiking, etc. Archana was taking her tasks with so much interest that her teaching assignments earned her popularity among the student community. Her elocution skills came to her assistance in her periodical presentations of laboratory work. Everything was going great for Archana when all of a sudden, an unexpected thing happened in the laboratory. The scientist under whose guidance Archana was holding her ground strong, decided to leave the university and that was a big setback to Archana’s career. This incident had put spoke in her ambitions by at least two years. A new guide means to start all over again. But firm she was. She consulted her seniors and decided to join another lab where she found a project with prospects in the future. Archana took this setback in her stride and started working on a new project with full vigor.

Archana was so much buried in the project work that she had hardly any time for her friends. Weekends were also used to complete the tasks which needed more working hours. Despite total dedicated input, the results were not coming as expected. Archana was getting stretched and buckled under pressure. Any other person would have given up and resigned from the project. But not Archana. Perseverance was a quality that had made her different from others. She fought with the time. She did not succumb to negative results. And her life continued under pressure.

Her colleagues Stephen, Roger provided her the necessary solace in her stressful going.  They were also struggling for their doctorates but they understood Archana’s point of view and always sided with her when she was found advocating her ideas all alone.

After a solid struggle for five odd years, Archana got some stunning results. She pursued with them. And yes, that was an extraordinary achievement. Her name was talked about in the field. She received accolades for her work.

She informed her parents about this happening. Deshmukh’s were delighted. Now they had obvious thoughts of Archana’s marriage. Their half-hearted search for a match for Archana so long now got revitalized and were seriously looking for boys, worthy for Archana.  With their background, their field of the search was much wider than conventional, one can think of.

Deshmukhs talked freely with Archana and asked her if she had spotted somebody worthy of being her life partner. And to their surprise, the answer was affirmative. Roger who was her colleague and very good friend had earned his doctorate and had moved to another city to do post-doctoral research work. As expected Deshmukhs did not enquire about the caste, religion, or even nationality of the boy. Just asked Archana whether she knew of his interests. Archana answered about how he had helped her in her research work, about his interests in skiing, astronomy, etc. Once she had met his mother and father too. They also were keen on her wellbeing. Deshmukh’s told Archana that they would talk to his parents.

QUEST – III

Kalpana applied for Masters and her mother was very irritated with her. She told her husband, Kalpana’s father, “I do not think Kalpana is going in the right direction. When I was opposing putting her in college, your friend suggested letting her do graduation, which will help her get a better life partner. And you agreed to this idea. Now, look at the fruits of that decision. Kalpana wants to continue her studies. She wants to do her masters. What is the use? Ultimately, she has to cook food and manage the kitchen. But this mad girl insists on going for masters. I strongly oppose this idea.”

“Are you crazy to think about studies yet further?”

“Yes, Papa. My friends Archana, Shubha are going for post-graduation. Why not I? Who says I will not manage the kitchen after my post-graduation? I promise I will do everything that Mom wants me to do. But let me complete my masters.”

After a lot of insistence from Kalpana, her father agreed to let her do masters. Mother was annoyed. She decided to make KALPANA a good housewife by making her do all sorts of kitchen work.  Exam or no exam, project work, or any other assignment Kalpana was not spared of her kitchen work. Her brother was also studying but he got all the privileges and was not asked to do any housework.” I do not want to be put to shame by making Kalpana study masters and not good at kitchen work.”  Kalpana’s mother used to utter repeatedly.

With the spirit to counter all that hardship, Kalpana completed her masters with honors. When she heard that Archana was to go for a Ph.D., that idea captured her mind too.

“Baba, I want to do a doctorate,” Kalpana said. And there came a firm statement from her father.

“That is enough. I do not want to hear anything from you. Tomorrow, we have called Mr.Tangade, my friend. His son is an Engineer and he will come to see you. If he likes you, you will be married to him next month. Do not even think of further studies. You will be married within a month or so.”

The next day Tangade family came to see Kalpana. Mrs. Parchure readied Kalpana with a good saree and some gold jewelry. Kalpana looked beautiful and was approved instantly by Tangades first by the seniors and then by the junior, Rajan, whose opinion mattered very little.

After marriage, Kalpana took charge of Tangade’s kitchen and started being an efficient housewife. One day Kalpana opened her heart to Rajan when they were alone in the house. “Actually, I wanted to do a Ph.D. in international politics. But my Ba opposed it. Can I do it now? I will manage the kitchen as well as my office.”

Rajan was broad-minded though a bit traditional. He agreed to it. They disclosed the idea to seniors in the house one evening. And that was it. Rajan’s mother opposed the idea and threatened to leave the house if Kalpana went to the office.  Despite sincere attempts by Rajan to convince his mother, she was adamant on the idea of not allowing daughter-in-law to go out of the house on daily basis. Luckily, Rajan was on Kalpana’s side. He insisted Kalpana should go to an office for further studies.

And Mrs. Tangade senior did leave for her native place when Kalpana started going to the office. Mr. Tangade also followed his wife and went to their native place. But Rajan stood by Kalpana.  She managed her household before going to the office and after coming back home from the office finished all the remaining work. Rajan traditional on that account did not help Kalpana even a bit in the kitchen matters. He insisted that the kitchen had to be managed by the lady of the house alone.

After few months Kalpana conceived and was taken home by Parchures for delivery. A baby girl was born which again was resented by both the mothers. Tanagde and Parchure. After the newborn baby was 2 months old, KALPANA returned to her house where Rajan was managing somehow.  After return, Kalpana took over and made arrangements for baby care during the hours she was to attend the office. Kalpana found it extremely difficult to manage the baby, office, and house kitchen. Except for moral support from Rajan, everything else was managed by Kalpana. But she did continue. She completed her paperwork when the baby had grown 2 years. And Kalpana was awarded Ph.D. in international politics.

She continued her job managing the baby and the kitchen and traveling for an hour by local train to the office.

Days passed by and there was a letter from an international organization inviting Kalpana for a conference in the USA. Kalpana had submitted her paper on TERRORISM and ITS ELIMINATION in an open competition. To her dismay, it had won first prize. And to receive the prize, she was invited with an air ticket to Buffalo, USA.  Rajan was very happy but the idea of Kalpana going alone with the baby did not appeal to him. First, he rejected the idea outright but then he conceded. He helped Kalpana with the formalities of foreign travel.

QUEST – IV

Rageshri returned home with the application for masters. Her father called her close and said ”Rageshri, We are a business community. We earn money by doing business. Nobody in our family has gone beyond graduation. If men do not study beyond graduation, what will a girl like you will do by getting masters? Look at us. We have not studied beyond our schools, forget college. Still, we have made enough money. Your mother has not studied even school but still, she managed our house so efficiently. Your brother is managing the business but he also has not gone to college.

You are the first to have graduated in our family. And now you want to do masters. That is not acceptable.”

“But, Bapu, This is a new field and if I do post-graduation, it will carry weightage.“ Rageshri pleaded.

“Masters and that too in the US. Nothing doing. We will call my sister and ask her to search for a boy for you.”

“Bapu, my friend Archana is planning to go to the US to do a Ph.D. That will be at least 5 years. I am thinking of MS which will be only two years. Bapu, please”

Nothing could convince her father. But once Archana’s parents met him and they discussed the same matter. And Rageshri found her father thinking differently. He finally agreed and told the family about his consent. Rageshri’s grandmother made her hue and cry. Talked about going beyond tradition will harm Rageshri’s marriage prospects. Rageshri being accommodative, did not give up her efforts to convince her grandmother and her mother who was not totally against the idea.

So finally, Rageshri applied to the US university and after her admission was confirmed, took a flight to the USA. Clinical research was the field of her interest. She landed in Los Angeles and started pursuing her career with full zest.

After successful completion of the course, Rageshri joined an organization and invited her parents to her place. They put up the condition. Unless she agrees to tie the knots with a boy of their choice, they would not be interested in visiting her. Rageshri realized the seriousness of parents’ sentiments. She promised them to go back to India after the completion of a project which would take no more than six months. And Rageshri did complete the project very successfully for which she was nominated for an extraordinary achievement award. After reaching India, Rageshri was introduced to a Doctor from their community who was settled in Texas, USA. After all the formalities the marriage was fixed to be conducted in Mumbai and then she would fly back to the US along with her husband and pursue her career there.

CONJUNCTION

Kalpana with her three-year-old daughter landed at the Buffalo airport in the afternoon of Friday. Her conference was supposed to start on Monday. The winter was just setting in December. The sky was overcast. The temperature was around 3 degrees.  As informed by the conference organizing committee, Kalpana came prepared with woolen clothing for herself and especially for her daughter.

She called for the taxi and headed for the hotel where she was put up by the organizing committee. After checking into the hotel, Kalpana got herself & her baby refreshed. She started thinking how nice it would have been if she was in contact with her friends. They would have been happy if they knew that she was in the US to receive an international award.

On the day of the conference, Kalpana reached the conference auditorium well in time. The hall was jam-packed.  A few dignitaries took their place on stage. At the predetermined time, the convenor took charge of the microphone.

“Good evening to all. We are so happy that a small event that started ten years ago, has taken such a strong position in international affairs. To appreciate the achievements of the women in different fields, our organization conducts different competitions at international levels and also keeps scanning different publications in scientific fields to note remarkable discoveries by females.

This year we have selected eleven women who have done significant work in fields related to human life. Music, international politics, Information technology, biology, medicines, dance, sports, religion, painting, astronomy, and administration are the fields in which we found some great women achievers.

And I am happy to announce their names and request them to come on to the stage and allow us to felicitate those great personalities who have achieved their goals despite all odds. The path they chose was not an easy one. There were so many obstacles they had to overcome. But they did. They struggled and struggled hard. We salute them with all earnestness.

These personalities for different subjects are from different countries. But this year what a coincidence!

There are four daughters originally from India.

Mrs. KalplanaTangade has won first prize for her article on how to combat international terrorism. A housewife with a traditional family background thought totally on different lines and put her ideas on how to tackle international terrorism. She has proved everyone wrong who thinks housewives cannot think internationally.

The second name on the list, a biological scientist is Archana Deshmukh. Fighting against all odds, Archana found out a phenomenon that was going to help humanity in dealing with many a disease. Archana has defined the word perseverance very profoundly and with the necessary intelligence she discovered a relationship between different neurons of the human brain.

The third achiever is Shubha who is a computer scientist who has developed new logic which is going to make use of computers for illiterate persons.

The next is Rageshri who has got extraordinary methods in clinical biology. She has developed some methods which will be a great help in diagnosing psychological diseases.

Our heartiest congratulations to all these daughters of India!

The best achiever in Music is Ms.Sukrino from Uganda. Her contribution to the music world…..

And the list went on to celebrate women.

 But the four daughters of India were stunned to see their classmates from school on stage being felicitated at the same time. They were so happy to see each other after many years and have achieved something extraordinary.

And amidst the thundering applause, the four daughters of India made their country proud.

Reading Time: 7 minutes

On seeing the printed ticket, the coach attendant told Mr. Ramnathan,

“Compartment D, No.12, upper birth. Sir, can you climb up the berth? Otherwise, I will request some other passenger to exchange. Your destination Ratlam will come at 9 in the morning.”

“No.No. It is okay. I will be comfortable on upper-berth.” Seventy year old Ramnathan said. He took back the ticket from the attendant and charged towards D compartment. The attendant followed him with the bed roll. He spread it on berth no.12 very neatly, arranged the pillow in place after putting the fresh cover. Ramnathan thanked him, slid the suitcase under the lower berth and climbed up using the ladder provided. Ramnathan at the age of seventy, was quite fit and active. Being a disciplinarian he had reached the station, well in time and was on his berth well before other passengers arrived. Ramnathan realized in the side pocket of the berth, there was a small book left by the previous passenger. He cursed the maintenance staff and took out his own book from the hand bag and started reading on the night lamp provided near his berth.

The other three berths of the compartment were occupied by the passengers when the train left Mumbai central at the scheduled time and was running at full speed. Ramnathan was already halfway through the book. He continued further. The book was on Ramayan by Devdatta Patnaik. Ramnathan thought, he had read several books on Ramayan but this Devdatta had put every event in a different perspective and projected every character of this epic with different view point. Lovely. In an hour he finished the book and tried to keep it in the side pocket. He remembered the earlier book was there. Ramnathan took that book out to read and kept his Ramayan in the pocket. He opened the book. Title was “Men in Love”.

After reading half the page Ramnathan realized that was a provocative book. He threw the book back in pocket. He tried to sleep. But could not. Inadvertently his hand went on the side pocket again and he took out the book “Men in Love”. He wondered why do people read such worthless books? He actually pitied the readers. But the unoccupied mind tried to peep in that cheap story-book. His conscientious was not allowing him to read this low grade work. But curiosity was increasingly drawing him closer to the book. Ramnathan thought, he had read hundreds of books but never had looked into any such type. He thought, ‘Let me find out what ideas they put up.’

Sex was the topic this book was into. Different mehods to have sex, various ideas to enjoy it.  Ramnathan got interested in it. The protagonist was a young man exploring unusual ways to heighten the pleasure of sex. Ramnathan thought, he had such a long sex life but lacked the variety that this young man was experiencing. He was a bit disappointed that such ideas never struck his mind when he was young. This book had enriched him in this area then but was that not too late?

Ramnathan thought he was never unhappy to sleep with his wife. But he never thought over whether his wife was happy with him. He even did not have the idea that the females also enjoy sex as much men do. He did not think that they also desire to satisfy their expectations. There were many occasions when he was not interested in having sex and he did not make love. Never did he think whether his wife wanted sex. Never. Never did he give any attention to her whether she was contented. How cruel! In the days of his youth, to think over sex was a sin. To even read anything about sex was in bad taste for him. Never did he enjoy friends talking, joking over sex matters. He was very rigid and was clinging to his puritan ideas all through. It was bad!

He even never had sex without lights put off. And this book told him that light was not bad. To try out different positions to enhance the pleasure of either partner was necessary. His wife gave him two children but he completely ignored her feelings. A retired judge was found at fault.  Ramnathan felt really guilty in court of sex for enjoyment. Then he decided, after he reached home, first thing in the night in the bed, he was going to ask his beloved wife whether she was satisfied with him whenever they had sex. He was going to try out various things in bed which he had always considered bad. “Whether I am capable to enact all those things due to my age or not, I am going to take her to climax. It is better to be late than never.” Ramnathan had fixed in his mind.

With this firm decision, Ramnathan fell off to sleep.

Next day in the morning he was woken up by the attendant, “Sir it is 8O’clock. Train will reach Ratlam at right time. Please get ready.”

Ramnathan was surprised that he had slept till 8. He always was out of bed latest by six. But today he over slept. He noticed that the book “Men in Love” was in his hand. He wondered whether the attendant had seen this book in his hand. He immediately threw the book back in the side-pocket of the berth. After quick visit to wash room and brushing, he got himself ready to get down from the train. He wound-up his belongings and he put his RAMAYAN back in his briefcase. He did not even have another look at “Men in Love”.

At 9 when the train stopped at Ratlam, he got down with resolute mind and went out of the platform. His driver was waiting for him. The driver took over his suitcase and guided him to the car.

After a halt of 10 minutes, the train started. Attendant of the AC-II Tier coach was expecting a new passenger in the compartment D on berth no.12. Mr. Ramesh Mathur, aged 45 was waiting at the door to confirm his seat no. from the attendant. After the due procedure, Mr. Mathur proceeded towards compartment D. Locating the berth no.12, he decided to lie down on the upper berth. Using the ladder, he went on to the berth no.12 and made himself comfortable. Soon he discovered a book in the side pocket of the berth. Getting curious, he picked up the book and had a look. He read the title “Men in Love”. He got interested. On reading half of the first page, he realized that was a porno book. With increased eagerness, he continued reading. Ramesh was in his middle age and was enjoying sex regularly. Though with reduced frequency, he was enjoying his sex fully. He knew what tricks to use to satisfy himself and for his wife to reach climax. Mr. Mathur was very sensitive to his wife’s expectations and always saw to it that she was completely satisfied. Sometimes even if he was not in mood, if he realized that his wife needs him, he would put aside his feelings and would do everything to satisfy her. While reading this book he was trying to find out if there was anything which he had not tried out, some new ideas if he could get to further enrich his sex life.

He read the book hurriedly as he had to get off at Delhi at around 6 in the evening. He was delighted to spend his time in train with so much interesting happening. He had noted few new ideas which he was very eager to try out that night itself at home. He had an intention of carrying the book home. But refrained from it. Before getting down from the upper berth, he had a very good look at the book and he thanked it sincerely for some wonderful ideas. Mathur left the book in the side pocket where he had found it.

At around 6, Mathur got off the train at Delhi.

There boarded a young boy in his twenties. Anil Kumar Dogra. Age 25. Sturdy and good personality. While moving in the corridor, he was looking for compartment D. He entered the compartment, spotted the berth no.12. He had just a small brief case with him. He put it on the upper berth and called the attendant for the bed. Attendant hurriedly got a fresh set of bed roll and spread over the berth no.12. He asked for the ticket. “Up to Dehradun? Good. After dinner sleep comfortably till 6 in the morning when I will wake you up. Dehradun arrives at 7. Will you have dinner from the dining car, sir? We will have to place order now so that it will be served at 8.”  “Ok. I will have non-veg thali.” Anil Kumar sat on the lower birth and started reading a novel Romeo & Juliet. Very soon he got engrossed in the book. At around 8, the dinner was served. Finishing it quickly and after making the payment, Anil Kumar was in his allotted berth. He put back his book in the briefcase as he had finished it reading. Lying in the bed, Anil Kumar was lost in his thoughts. He was getting married two weeks later. He remembered his fiancée and the evenings he had spent with her in the City garden. He was happy that the waiting was coming to an end soon. His spending nights alone would be stopped and he would have partner to share his bed.

While making himself comfortable he realized a book in the side pocket. He picked it up and had a look at it. “Men In Love”. Anil Kumar was happy to read the title. How appropriate the book was for his requirement. He sat upright on the upper berth and started reading the great book that was in front of him. He started reading with full interest and was getting excited more and more after reading each line of the book. He started planning the details of his honeymoon. The book was guiding him in to the dream world and giving him ideas how to make every moment of honeymoon, memorable. He thought even 8 days honeymooning period would not be enough and he would have to extend it to minimum 15 days. He was so happy that such a fantastic book had come his way. He was reading some chapters again and again. Finally at around 4 in early morning he dozed off. At 6:30 the attendant woke him up. Anil Kumar got up, wound up his belongings and added one more thing to it, the book, “Men In Love”. He put the book in his briefcase. Got down and sat on the lower birth. The train entered Dehradun station. Anil Kumar came out of the compartment. When the train halted, he alighted from the train with a grand book with him in his briefcase and a lot of ideas in his mind about his honeymoon of 15 days.

He exited the platform and took a taxi to reach home.

Reading Time: 5 minutes

The Chain

Mr.Richardson and his wife were waiting at the dining table for their son Xander to join them to dinner. When Xander arrived, they started sharing various dishes Mrs. Richardson had cooked. A family of three members was  well-connected. It was a family loving each other.  Teen aged son Xander had just completed schooling and was looking for a job.  Extremely happy otherwise, Mr.Richardson was little worried about his son. Very good in academics, he was interested in sports. But father never heard from him any talk about the female friends whatever few he had. Xander always referred his boyfriends, his sports partners but nothing about opposite gender. Father had suspicion that his son may be getting into homosexuality. Otherwise normal, his son never showed any interest in girls.

Mr.Richardson thought over some idea and planned out a scheme so that his son gets exposed to the thrills of being heterosexual.

At the dining table he disclosed his plan. “Look Xander. I have some project for you.  I have one friend Mrs. Johnson. I had lent her one gold chain when she was in trouble.  Now so many years have passed and she has forgotten about it. I want to get the chain back. But I am feeling awkward to ask for the chain. You have to visit her and get the chain back for me.  There are three ladies staying together in the apartment.  So please use all your skills and get me the chain back from her. I will give you the detailed name and address, phone no. etc. tomorrow evening.  Your mission starts from day after tomorrow. Ok?”

“Yes. Dad, I have accepted the challenge and within a day or two you will get your chain. What is the age of the lady?

“She must be in her forties.  Get ready with all your ideas tomorrow and get into action day after tomorrow. Right then. If you win I will give you my car till you buy yours.  Good night.”

After dinner  every body retired to bed.

Next day, Mr. Richardson before noon took off to Mrs. Johnson. On the way he bought a gold chain and reached  Mrs. Johnson.  “Look. I am assigning a big task to you. You know, I have never visited you after my marriage and I remembered the kind of friendly relationship we had whenever I visited you. So I thought you to be dependable for this task. If you are successful , I will give you a good chunk of dollars.”

Saying this Mr. Richardson took out the gold chain, put it in her hand and said, “I will send my son who is just entering twenties, to you. I have told him that I have lent a gold chain to you some years ago and he has to get it back from you.  See, I am suspecting that he is inclined to homosexuality  and I don’t want this to happen. I want you to get him interested in opposite sex. He is a novice but see that he enjoys  the sex with you. He must come on right track and lead a normal life. So Mrs. Johnson, all the best! He will be here tomorrow. How are your room partners?”

“They are fine and going strong. If you want to see them they will be here in an hour.”

“No. Not at the moment.  Just let me know your charges and I will make the payment.”
“Oh, don’t worry on that account. I am sure about your payment.”

Mr. Richardson returned home and wrote down the address and phone no. for his son to go to get the gold chain. His wife saw the address, “So your friend is in red light area? And you are sending your own son in that dirty area?” “Look dear, I suspect Xander is inclined to homosexuality. I don’t want him to take that weird path. Don’t you want your son to lead a normal life? Trust me. It will not harm Xander. It will bring him on correct path.”

In the evening , Mr.Richardson handed over the address to Xander and wished him all the very best.

On the D day afternoon, Xander got ready and started off to see Mrs. Johnson.

Here Mrs. Johnson talked to her two room partners. She told them that she was expecting  a novice customer. As such she was not interested in entertaining him. If any one of them would take care of him she can do so.  Clara came forward and showed her willingness. Tina warned her about the novice boy. But Clara was decided to handle the boy. Mrs. Johnson explained everything about the chain and advised her to put it around her waist, identify herself as Mrs.Johnson. and told her to hand over the chain to the boy only after he satisfies her.

In the late afternoon, Clara was waiting for the novice customer. The bell rang and all the three went to open the door. There was Xander.

“Is this Mrs. Johnson’s apartment? I want to see her.”

Clara came forward and said “Here I am. How can I help you?”

“See Mrs. Johnson, I am Xander Richardson.  Do you remember Mr. Richardson, my father? “

“Yes. Very much. He is a good friend of mine. We have not met for quite many years.”

“Do you remember he had lent you a gold chain so many years back. Do you have any intentions to return it?”

“Yes of course. I have put it on my waist and remember him whenever I see the chain.”

“Please give me the  chain back. We need it urgently.”

“Certainly. But you yourself will have to take it from my waist.”

“What nonsense! But it is okay.” Saying this Xander went close to her.

“Ay, you want to make me naked in front of all these ladies? Let us go to our bedroom.”

Clara rushed to the adjoining bed room.  Xander followed her.

“Now  you may.” Clara said. And Xander got into action.

Tina, from outside of the room was listening to all the sounds both the members were making.  She got interested. She put her ears against the door and enjoyed the process going on inside. Nearly an hour later after a shriek everything calmed down.  Both of them fell off to sleep due to very vigorous activity.

This was the moment when Tina slowly sneaked into the room, removed the chain from Clara’s waist and  put it on hers.

After few minutes Xander got up. And did not find the chain on Clara’s waist. Clara got up. Xander asked for the chain. He put on his clothes and came out saying loudly “Give me my chain Mrs.Johnson. I followed your instruction and now you are cheating me.”

“Yes. She has cheated you. She is Clara. Actually, I am Mrs.Johnson. And the chain is around my waist. You will have to take it yourself” Tina said.

 “What is this?”

“Nothing doing. You will have to go through the same process to get the chain.”

“Now?”

“Why not? You are a young boy. Come inside the room.”

Tina entered the room and Xander had to follow her.

The entire process was repeated.  Again, with his weapon  Xander squeezed Tina out. She also enjoyed the novice boy much more than any seasoned experienced man.

This time it was actual Mrs.Johnson’s turn to get jealous. She also wanted to have fun with the novice. She  did the same thing as Tina did. Removed the chain from Tina’s waist before Xander woke up from his little nap and put it on hers.

And the process was repeated the third time. Xander enjoyed this episode too.

But now, too tired he fell off to sleep . Sound sleep. When he got up it was morning of the next day. Now Mrs. Johnosn  handed over the chain to Xander. And told him to thank his father for the great help. She would never forget the chain.

Before anything further happens, Xander put on the clothes and set off to his house with the gold chain and with lot of memories of many happy moments of new experience. Mr. Richardson’s plan had worked successfully.

Reading Time: 6 minutes

THE LONG LOST FRIENDS

”That is the fan tailed fly catcher, Baba” Rachana exclaimed. “It sings very melodiously. Both the male and the female make nest working together, using grass sticks.”

Satish & his wife Vidya with their only child Rachana had moved into their small little row house in a lovely natural surrounding even though it was in Mumbai. A small piece of land in front and at the back of the house, gave Vidya ample opportunity to grow choice flower plants such as rose, mogra, night queen, ananta, periwinkles, cobra flower, nice looking but without fragrance addenium, ixora etc. Few chafa, bamboo and a couple of coconut and a mango trees graced the wilderness. Due to the affinity to the National Park, a number of uncommon birds came to the area. The mornings, particularly the dawns, full of melodious sounds was a regular affair. Koel, the familiar musical bird was known for cooing in summer days inviting the dark clouds to bring in the rains. But after shifting to the new house, the myth was cleared soon, as Satish heard Koel cooing at different timings of the day starting at 3:30 in the morning of different seasons. Bulbul was another rhythmically calling bird that frequented the residential area and added melody to the tuneful surroundings. The fan tailed fly catchers filled the atmosphere with its attention catching, melodious singing. Often spotted in the mornings, was a Dew Pecker, a small bird moving swiftly, drinking dew drops on the leaves of various plants making shrilling sounds. Crows cawing started at around 5:30 in the morning. They continued cawing throughout the day. The egrets were seen flying in long strings far off in the skies. Sparrow chirping was getting rarer as the days were passing. The Copper Smith also marked its presence by its tuk tuk in small bursts, at least 4-5 times a day. The rapidly diminishing population of rock pigeons also started the day with its gootergu sounds. Butterflies welcomed the rising sun with their brilliantly coloured wings kissing different flowers in the garden. They were joined by jumping and hopping, thin, active grey squirrels, one moment climbing up the coconut trees and the next moment sliding down to explore another tree. Often visited were groups of monkeys reminding the humans residing in the buildings that the place originally belonged to them.

Evenings were marked by the parakeets returning to their nests on the rain trees. Commonly found Mynas and many more birds were seen gathering on the trees after the sunset, making lot of noise.

Satish had observed a melodiously singing bird sitting on the overhead TV cable which was running at least fifty feet above the ground. Satish used to go on the terrace to take some exercise which he had learnt in BRAMHAVIDYA classes. He used to get up early at around 5 in the morning and managed to do some exercise on the terrace before going to his factory at 8. He had a busy schedule. His work place was a small scale industry producing some electronic units. But he never missed his exercise and rarely a day passed without the finely tuned greetings of the singing bird. Satish used to express his astonishment to his beloved wife and both used to wonder how developed the language of communication of that bird was. Later their daughter Rachana identified this bird as Fan tailed Fly catcher.

They realized the bird used to move across with his partner. Both the birds used to visit that area at a particular time never to be heard later throughout the day.

Years passed by. Rachana grew up into a capable lady and was married to an equally competent boy she had studied with. Satish and Vidya entered the cadre of senior citizenship. The music emitting of the bird at a particular time had lost its bewilderment.

The season changed and spring set in. With this, a terrible news caught the attention of the entire world. The COVID-19 pandemic was hovering over the whole world. The number of infected persons was increasing day by day, first in hundreds and then in thousands. The whole atmosphere became gloomy. The governments were taking drastic steps to curb the spreading of killer virus. The toll death was increasing by thousands in the whole world. Satish & Vidya were also worried about the anticipated troubles. Government was enforcing some disciplinary measures and that was putting lot of restrictions on the movements of the general public. The pleasing spring season eased the tension a bit. Satish welcomed the vibrant chirping of various birds. And after many years, he took note of     melodiously singing bird- fan tailed fly catcher.

But this year something unusual happened. The melody of musical bird was heard even after 10 in the morning. Satish & Vidya were surprised. Tracing the source, they saw the same small bird which used to enthrall them few years ago, in the early hours of dawn, was sitting on the fence. And sure enough its partner was also sitting on the tree nearby. Satish was delighted with the feelings of meeting the long lost friends. With the days changed, Satish now possessed a mobile camera. Vidya photographed the visiting birds. After about few minutes their friends disappeared. But soon, an hour or two later, heart catching tune fell on their ears again. Satish and Vidya looked out of the window and there were the friends on the branch of the bamboo tree. After a short dialogue they vanished and again they appeared on the bamboo tree singing away to glory. The story repeated several times for several days. Satish was wondering what made the musical bird visit them so many times.

And after a few days, Vidya literally screamed looking out of the window. There was a nest in the bush of the bamboo, a nest made of grass sticks glued together by cobwebs. Yes. There was a white egg shining brightly when afternoon sun rays fell on it. Satish and Vidya were glued to the window watching the egg laid in the nest. Suddenly the friend glided on to the nest and made herself comfortable covering the egg. Few hours later when Vidya had a peep at the nest, the bird had gone and there were two eggs. With added pleasure, she ensured that no move of hers should disturb the guests lest the guest just abandon the nest. Next day a third egg was seen in the nest

Now the duration of the bird sitting in the nest increased. Vidya and Satish realized that two birds had a different shade of color on the back. First bird they noticed was dark black and sometimes they could see the bird of brown color in the nest. Presumably while laying the eggs, the female used to be in the nest for longer time and that was with dark black colored back. Now sharing the responsibility was the male of brown back.

The days were passing by. The amused human couple was getting excited more and more. It was the trimmed bush of the bamboo trees that offered them the opportunity to witness a great occasion of hatching of bird eggs.

One day there was a big thud in the back yard. A spine chilling feeling was created in the human couple and they rushed behind. The 50-60 feet tall coconut tree had dropped a coconut. Luckily, it fell quite away clear of the bamboo bush. But then there was sad feeling that this unharmed incident may create some sort of scare in the birds’ mind. Now the human couple started praying for the safety of the guests.

The Covid-19 virus was spreading all over the world. The infected number was in millions and number of deaths jumping by thousands every day. The movement of the general public were completely controlled and the senior couple was tied down to their house. Except TV, and communication through cell phones the entire world was cut off. But Satish & Vidya were kept busy with the new friends who had arrived a couple of weeks ago.

The birds had made themselves comfortable and were taking care that the eggs were protected. The crows sitting on the fence nearby were flown off by these small little birds declaring the surrounding area as belonging to them and nobody should trespass it. The growing leaves of the bamboo plant were getting denser day by day. To watch the nest from above or sides of the bamboo bush was becoming difficult. Satish & Vidya had discovered the approach way of the parent birds and quietly used to have a glimpse of the nest and the eggs in it.

And one day, Vidya noticed there was some different movement in the nest. She tried to get the view inside the nest. But except some movement of the wings of the mother bird nothing was visible. They concluded that the eggs must have hatched and the three young ones had arrived in this unsafe world.

Satish & Vidya were delighted to take a note of new born melodiously singing young birds. But in the back of their mind they were worried about the news of their friend falling victim to the COVID-19. Their friend in the adjacent town was declared positive of the virus. He was admitted to the hospital but was not approachable at all. His children were all worried as doctor had declared him not responding to the treatment given. There were no hopes.

Days passed by. The lovely three young ones with their emitting sweet sounds could be seen in the nest from a particular angle only. Totally invisible from any other side, these innocent little young ones were fully protected from the enemies. Two days passed observing, on the sly the cute melody makers.

In the evening Satish & Vidya were enjoying the fledging attempt of the young guests. And the phone rang. Satish picked up the cell and heard the sad news. Their hospitalized friend was no more. Satish could not control the tears flowing. Vidya guessed the bad news. Both were extremely grieved. They were looking at the nest. One of the three was trying to spread its wings and after a while he took off. He literally flew.

But Satish & Vidya could not forget their close friend who left this world in a matter of a week, never to be seen again. The sweet melody emitted by the young ones could no longer elevate the mood of the depressed human couple.

Reading Time: 7 minutes

FAITH IN GOD

“Don’t harm that ant, son. You should not hurt all those who are smaller than you. Do not ever show your might to all those who are weaker than you. That is a sin. Always be good to the poor. Anyone showing kindness to those less fortunate, goes to heaven after death.” Mother centipede advised her son. “Now, give me hand to carry our food home. The rains will come soon and we have to get ready for the rainy day.” She told her son.

Son was getting dose of good behaviour and how virtues would lead him to heaven. As a result he was getting curious to know more about heaven.

“Nobody knows where the heaven is. But it is up somewhere there. Only the pious will be taken to heaven by the birds sent by GOD. Not all can go to heaven. Only selected, chosen ones will be picked up by the bird sent by GOD. So to attain heaven, we should not sin and must always do good things.”

While taking a walk with his mother, the son centipede observed they were just at the border of the field where they have been living.

 “Mother, this other side looks like a big stretch of land devoid of plants, trees.”

“Yes my dear Son, this is a barren land. It is very difficult for common centipede like us to stay in such areas. Only the elevated worms can survive in this land. The hardship one has to face in this area is unbearable. Only those who have realized what life is can endure this type of living. If one can live through this, GOD will be pleased with him and sure enough he will send his birds to pick him up to the heaven. “

“But mother, why does one have to aim at going to heaven? “

“GOD, The almighty, the creator of this world lives in heaven. So will it not be good to stay with the GOD for the rest of our life? He showers affection on all those who are dear to him. And only those who lead a pious life are dear to him.”

“Then mother, I also want to get loved by GOD. I also want to go to heaven. I want to be picked by the bird of GOD.”

“Then do not do bad things. Do not harm anybody.  And the GOD will send his bird to pick you up whenever your time is due.”

“Can I go to that land right away?”                                                                

“No. Not dear. You want to leave me alone in this world? I cannot stay without you.”

So they turned back and started crawling towards their own dwelling.

They were quiet and did not utter a single word till they reached their house.

No sooner did they finish their lunch than their neighbouring centipede came running and weeping at the same time. “Heaven has fallen on me.”  She cried. 

“What happened?”

“My husband and I were going to collect our food. We were walking very carefully avoiding the path usually the humans take. But today somehow some human tried to take untrodden path and just crushed my husband under his big foot. My husband died instantly. I do not know what to do now. He was so loving. I cannot live without him.” The mother centipede tried to console her. ”Look. That is fate. What can we do? We are with you. Do not worry about food during the rainy season. We will share whatever we have”

After some time the neighbour gathered courage and went into her house.

Son centipede then approached his mother. “Mother, what happened? Where did the uncle go?”

“He is no more in this world.”

“Did he go to heaven? Did the bird come to pick him up?”

“No dear. The cruel human being who does not bother about small creatures like us, crushed him under his foot. So uncle died.”

“But the human committed a sin. Is not it?”

“Yes. He did. “

“In that case GOD will not send his birds to take him to heaven?”

“No. The birds will not pick him up.”

“But why did not GOD send bird to take uncle to heaven?”

“Do not know. May be he had done some unkind thing earlier some time.”

Son centipede was hardly convinced. He decided to sleep with a determination to go to the barren land next morning to see the birds which are sent by GOD.

Next day morning, the son centipede got up early before his mother and set out for the barren land. After crawling for hours, when the sun was about to rise, he reached the border of barren land.

And he saw a lot of birds on the land. Some small birds, some big birds. They all were pecking on the ground. “Probably, they are picking up the centipede to be taken to the heaven as instructed by GOD. So many GOD’s birds!  I wish I also could go to heaven”  

And one bird came very close to him. The son centipede  prayed that the bird would pick him up. But the bird instead picked up some insect next to him and flew away. Suddenly the son remembered his mother. She had said that she would not be able to stay without him. So he turned back and started for home.

When at home, he told his mother how the bird picked up an insect next to him and not himself.

“That is because the GOD does not want to leave me alone. Now behave like a good son and do not go to the barren land again.”

The son satisfied himself and sat down to have lunch.

The son centipede followed mother’s advice and did not do any bad in his routine life. He was very happy that things were going very smooth. He along with his mother used to thank GOD for all the good things given to them.

And one day there was a calamity.

The human farmer brought a tractor and started ploughing the field. In one stroke, it upset the dwellings of hundreds of centipedes. Many were killed and many more seriously injured.

Complete habitat was shattered. Only the cries were heard all over. The mother centipede broke her leg. Somehow she was trying to move to a safer place and to find out the condition of her son. Luckily he was not hurt. He came close to his mother and tried to pacify her.

“Why? Why did this happen? What went wrong so that GOD had to punish all of us? Many uncles, aunties have died.  Many more are injured.  How can we help them? How can they get some assistance? No. No. This is atrocious. How can GOD be so cruel? How can a loving, passionate GOD turn horrendous, barbaric?”

“We all must have done something wrong. We must have sinned. Otherwise GOD can’t be cruel, intolerant. We must introspect. We must find out the cause.” Mother centipede said with unshaken belief in GOD. “We should not blame GOD for any bad happening. We must correct our mistakes. If we do that GOD will be happy and we will not have to face calamity.”

Son centipede tried to accept the justification of that terrible happening.

Days passed by. The habitat got into gear again. Survived centipedes started working their regular routines. And the life continued. Everybody had forgotten the calamity that sometime back had caused big upset.

Son grew up and found a nice partner. Soon they had one offspring. The offspring was looked after by Mother centipede. She managed all routine activities with one broken leg. Her son and daughter in law took care of earnings for the house.

And there was an apocalypse

The enemy planes started bombarding the area. The shells were piercing the ground and blowing the soil tens of feet in to the air. The houses of centipedes were thrown miles apart. Many centipedes were blown in to the air and then they fell down on ground miles away from their original area. The bombs were being dropped one after another.  The mother centipede was tossed into air many times. The last time she came down it was near her son who was injured and lying in pain. “Mother” he called out to her. She saw her son profusely bleeding. She crawled close to him and tried to pacify him. “Mother, why all this? What did we do wrong that GOD again punished us? Why is he being so unkind to all of us? Do you still believe we must have done something wrong?”

Mother with her trembling voice said ”Yes, dear. Certainly. Without reason God will never punish anybody. We must have sinned. And this time he is very angry.”

“But Mom, we have never harmed anybody. We have always shared all that we have with all others.”

“Yes. But there must be some occasion when we erred. GOD keeps track of all our doings and then takes action. We will try to recollect when we did a wrong thing.”

They both were lost in thoughts trying to remember an incidence when they could have done bad thing to others.  Both of them tried very hard for a long time. But could not figure out anything wrong. After a very hard scratching of their memory, mother centipede came up with some incident. “Yes, I remembered. It must be that wrong thing which must have upset GOD.

That was the peak of drought that summer.  I was feeding your child some fresh leaf which your wife had got from a distant farm. There were no plants in our field. After a very long search, your wife had got this leaf for the child even though rest of us were also starving. That time one old centipede of neighbourhood was on death bed. Somebody said to bring some food for her and she would survive. One of our neighbour had seen a fresh leaf in our house. She told me to bring that leaf to feed the old neighbour. I did not agree. My grandchild was also starving. Who would give food for it? So I lied. I told them that I did not have any food. And after some time the old neighbour died.

I hurriedly came home and fed the child whatever leaf we had. I think that piece of lie must have upset GOD and for that he must have punished us. I am the sinner. But what else could I have done? My child was also starving? But still I am the sinner.”

Son was shocked. His mother who used to preach him not to tell lies had told such a big lie.

“GOD is great. He cannot be cheated. So we deserved to be punished. We have to bear the consequences.”

And son saw a bird zooming down on earth. He landed close to his mother. He picked up the mother and next moment he disappeared into the skies. Son saw his mother being taken to heaven by GOD’s bird. “Yes. She deserved a place in heaven. She always followed the code of conduct except once when she told a big lie. I will take care and will always follow the code of conduct. I also want to be picked up by the bird of GOD.”

Soon there was yet another bomb that exploded and the soil got thrown into the air some tens of feet. And the war continued.

*********

That is what the faith in GOD is and that is how agonizing acts of a few find acceptance in the society. Somebody does evil work and some other innocent person thinks it as a punishment imposed by GOD for some wrong deed by him however insignificant it may be.

Reading Time: 10 minutes

THE LONGEST DAY

Shivam was dropped in the school by his father.

“Look Shivam, I will come to pick you up after the school gets over. Keep the badge around your neck. Do not take it off. Remember your class is 3A. If you want to go for soo(pee) tell your teacher. He will show you the way to toilet. Be a good boy. Have your tiffin during recess.” Mr.Misra felt Shivam’s grip holding his hand became tighter. He realized Shivam was a bit tense.

It was just three days back Mr.Misra had returned from his village near Sultanpur with wife and son Shivam. Shivam was coming to Mumbai, his parents’ place after spending seven years with grandparents. He completed two years of schooling in the village. Misraji was aware that Shivam’s future lied in a better school of Borivali, where he had rented a room in Mumbai. He managed to take off few days from his small business and went to his native place to bring his wife and little Shivam to Mumbai. While sleeping in her lap, Shivam had asked many a times a lot of questions about Borivali and mother had described to him Borivali whatever way she could.  Chubby Shivam was happy that he was actually going to Borivali and his father would be with him for longer times. The curiosity peaked within Shivam.

And that day early morning Shivam with his parents got down at Dadar from the train which they had boarded in Sultanpur two days ago. There were so many people on the platform. Father lifted the hold all and a trunk that contained little Shivam’s belongings along with household material. They paved their way through crowd, changed the platform and got into another local train for Borivali. After an hour, they came out of the railway station of Borivali, took one auto rickshaw and after 15-20 minutes’ drive they were in Sambhaji Nagar.

The eastern skies were getting brighter. The entire town was waking up. Shivam’s first glimpse of the new place was pleasant. He realized there were no cocks crowing, announcing the arrival of the new morning. But there were so many houses everywhere. There was no river to be seen nearby. But he observed the people all over moving at speeds as if they had to reach some place very quickly. Why everybody was in hurry? He had never seen before so many people moving hurriedly.

“Vapas aa gaye Misraji?(You are back Misraji?) Namaste Bhabhiji. Kaisi hai aap?”(How are you Bhabhiji?) Vermaji greeted the family.

 He looked at Shivam. “To ye hai aapka beta.” (So, this is your son?)Verma squeezed Shivam’s cheek.”Bahut pyara hai.”(Very sweet).

“Ha. Kal se school chalu ho rahi hai na. Kaisa hai aapka Antim? Usike class me baithega yeh. Teesari kakshame iss ka admission liya hai.”(Yes. From tomorrow school is opening. Isn’t it? How is your Antim? This boy will sit in his class only. Taken admission in third standard.)

“He is alright. I have told Antim’s mother about your arrival. She will bring breakfast for you. Bhabhiji, you don’t make even tea today. You take some rest after entering the room. She will give you tea. Ok. Misraji, I am getting late. I will take your leave. Listen child, Antim must be getting up now. Make friendship with him.”

Shivam nodded.. Vermaji left in the same hurry as Shivam had seen every other person here.

After passing few doors in a house, they stopped in front of one locked door. Misraji took out the keys and opened the door. All three of them entered the room. Shivam was looking for other rooms. Father said,” Dekho beta, This only is our house. This is not as big as our Sultanpur house. We have to manage. You will get lot of friends. Play with them. And yes. You have to go to school also with them. Verma’s Antim will come very soon. He is a good boy. Yadav’s Rohit is also of your age only. He stays two houses further. You will not miss your friends of Sultanpur.”

Misraji started unpacking and Shivam joined his father.

Shivam was bewildered seeing the crowd and the number of houses. He was wondering where would be the playground, how far would be the school, how good would be the friends. And then came a small, delicate looking, smiling boy with a jug filled with hot tea. “Uncle, this is tea for all of you. Mummy said she will bring chhole-puri very soon. So please have tea first.” Saying this he started pouring tea in small steel glasses which he had brought with him.

“Shivam, brush your teeth, wash face quickly and have tea. We have to use this small bathroom.. You may find it a bit odd but soon you will get used to it.”

In a short while another boy a little younger to them with full smile on his face came in and talked to Antim in a language never heard before.

Antim told him ”This is Shivam Misra.” And looking at Shivam, Antim said “He is Akshay Pawar.”  Shivam returned a big smile. Shivam was happy that at least with these boys he was comfortable.  He finished the tea in the glass. In no time Akshay disappeared. Very soon the list of friends increased. Ajay, Vishaal, Satya, Chandresh…..All of them almost same age group. Shivam finished his bath, prayers, then breakfast and came out of the room.

They started playing ‘chase and catch’ in small little open space in front of their house. Then Rohit joined them. A bit reserved, little bigger built than rest of them almost as big as Shivam but sporting similar pleasant expression on the face. They all became thick friends in no time. Shivam’s grin synchronized with the smiles of the other boys.

Shivam noticed many boys though they spoke Hindi, were from various casts. Nobody mentioned anybody’s cast and they all gelled well with each other. There were some other boys too speaking different languages. Shivam came to know Akshay Pawar, Vishaal Waghmode, Vipul etc. boys who spoke Marathi which was easy to understand as it sounded close to Hindi. First day itself was full of incidences, shattering the ideas which he had carried with him from village thought to be eternal.

One more day passed by and Shivam got familiar with the new way of life.

The day arrived when the schools reopened after long May vacation. Antim and all friends got ready, wearing school uniform and their id badges around their neck. Shivam’s father said,” Shivam, today we will go a little earlier than the rest of the boys as we have to complete the admission formalities. We have to collect the school badge too.”

”Beta, be attentive in the school. Take your tiffin during your lunch break. Do not fight with other students. Be with Antim. Is not he your good friend?” mother’s last minutes tips. She was a bit worried how Shivam would take new environment. Shivam held father’s hand and started off with him

 The road was very crowded with people in hurry. Some motorcycles, scooters, auto rickshaws and also cars were going at speeds piercing through the crowds. After walking for 10 minutes, Shivam reached the school. Misraji took him to school office with the necessary papers. The remaining formalities were completed. Shivam was given a badge bearing his photograph. That was hung around his neck. Father told him to behave himself and pay full attention to what teacher was saying. Further he added, in the evening he himself would come to take him home. He once again instructed him to have his tiffin during lunch break only. Shivam nodded. When Misraji took him to his class, Shivam was getting anxious about the teacher and new friends. Misraji looked for Antim, who had spent last year in this school. Antim was already in his seat with another friend. Shivam had to take the last bench as rest of the seats were full.

Misraji made him sit there and said, “Take care Shivam. I will come in the evening to pick you up after the school gets over.” Hearing this Shivam got a bit tense. His grip on father’s  hand tightened more. Shivam did not want to leave his father. Misraji noticing this said, “Do not worry Shivam. All boys are good. During lunch break sit with Antim to eat tiffin. Ok?” It was difficult for even Misraji to leave Shivam alone in the new school. He controlled himself and pulled off his hand from Shivam’s grip. He left the school without looking back.

The teacher entered the class and started teaching maths. Shivam already knew those sums. His grandfather had already taught him. So he got comfortable. He raised his hand to answer the questions from the teacher. That made a good impression with the teacher. During lunch-break Shivam had tiffin with Antim and Rohit.

Thus the first day of the school passed off well. And slowly Shivam got famous in the school as an intelligent student. In the evening, when the school was over, all the children ran out of the school. Shivam looked for Antim. Antim and Rohit were coming out of the school together. Shivam joined them. “But Misra uncle is going to come to pick you up, Shivam. You will have to wait for him. We will go home now. “Antim said. He caught Rohit’s hand and set out for home. Shivam waited for his father to come. He was getting anxious as the minutes were passing. In a short while Shivam saw his father coming. He was relieved. “Come on Shivam, let us go. Where are Antim and Rohit?”

“They left on their own.”

“Okay. Today is your first day in school so I decided to come to take you home. Tomorrow on, you will go home with them. Our house is not that far from here. Just 10 minutes will be enough for you to get home. Let us start”. Shivam held his father’s hand and started walking with his father.

In 10 minutes they reached home. Shivam took out his shoes and socks and then entered the house. Washed his legs, hands and face. Prayed to God in the small marble house specially made for God. Then had some snacks and by the time he was thinking of sitting for studies, Ajay came to his house.

“Shivam let us go to play.”

“Where will we go?” Shivam asked.

”Here only. This only is our playground” Ajay said.

“But I was thinking of finishing homework.”

“No. Not now. We will play first. Then after sometime we will complete our homework.” Shivam was one more member added to this group who played together, then studied together, had their dinner in their respective houses almost at the same time. Shivam was little disturbed with this collective way of living. Everybody was independent though they were staying almost together. Shivam was trying to put different observations together. He remembered his grandfather was so much concerned about the cast of his friends. He used to tell Shivam to play with only the Brahmin boys. He used to be critical of cast of his friends there. But here nobody is bothered about cast. Even his father had taken food cooked in non-brahmin Vernaji’s house. Shivam was getting confused over things right and wrong. So many persons staying in such a small area in their small houses. After dinner he had a walk with his friends in the nearby area. Shivam observed there were people speaking different languages, eating different type of foods but wearing almost same type of clothes. Men, almost all men wore pants and shirts irrespective of age. There was hardly any person wearing dhoti. Elderly ladies were wearing sarees but differently clad. Shivam thought this city had so many people, speaking different languages, having different cultures, so many casts but staying together as single family. They stay in small houses but live as unified group.

Next day started as usual. Many persons got up to fetch milk from milk booths. Some got busy filling water in their own drums from common taps giving water at a particular time. There were common places for doing morning duties shared by so many persons. Shivam thought, in spite of sharing so many things with so many people, there was no trace of unhappiness on their faces. How can they manage to adopt this type of living? My grandfather was so much rigid where as his son, my father, had changed so much.

Shivam got ready for school. His father had left for his work much earlier. But Shivam was prepared to go to school without his father with his friends. He came out. Antim was already waiting for his friends to start for the school. Antim came close to Shivam and looked at his ID card hung around his neck. “Nice” he said.

Soon Rohit, Ajay and all others got together and started for the school. They reached school in time. The bell rang and all boys got into their respective classes.

The first period was for maths. The teacher started with multiplication. Shivam knew how to multiply. For the questions asked by sir, Shivam was ready with answers. So again that made a good impression with the teacher. Shivam sparkled in the class.

At around 11:30 one peon entered the class room with a note for the teacher. After reading the note, the teacher’s face turned extremely worried. The peon started closing the windows. Teacher said, “There is some problem in the city. We are closing down the school. We are informing your parents to come to pick you up. We will send children home with their parents only. Till they come you will be here only. To avoid trouble, we will close the windows. We will stop the studies. You children keep quiet and wait for your parents to arrive.” The teacher closed his book and started to go out of the class. Just then another teacher entered the class and spoke to the class teacher” There is a serious problem in the city. Some miscreants are beating all the north Indians. They are shouting “north Indians go back to your states. Mumbai is for Maharashtrians only.” They are beating the north Indians with sticks, hockey sticks etc. We closed down the school for safety. But principal told to inform parents of students of lower classes, to come to pick up their wards. It is not safe to send these boys home, on their own. We will have to take care of students till parents come and take their children home. Everybody is worried. We do not know whether they would attack schools.”

“Shhh. Speak low. Students should not hear this. They will get frightened.” But the children had heard the conversation. Instantly panic spread in the class. All smiling, innocent faces turned tense and scared. Shivam could not understand what was happening. Beating up the north Indians means we Hindi speaking people? Why ? What did they do wrong? He remembered his village where crowds fighting was never heard of. Shivam started imagining crowds with hockey sticks entering the school and beating up all the children. He was terrified with the idea. He hoped his mother or father would come early and take him home to safety. Every moment was felt as an hour and the tension was getting him bogged down.  Shivam wanted to be with his mother. He felt like crying. The same was the condition of every child in the school. All the windows were bolted from inside. The children were quiet and waiting for their parents to pick them up. Shivam was extremely upset and cursed himself to have come to Mumbai with father. He hoped the day ended soon. But every moment was passing very slowly as hours. He was praying God to see his mother soon. He saw Antim and Rohit were also tense and tears were in their eyes. Shivam tried diverting his mind by thinking of sums of multiplication. But the idea of some people brutally beating the children was not going off his mind. How could some people be so cruel who share so many things of life with other people without considering his cast or language he speaks? Shivam was wondering when would he be with his mother?

Finally Shivam saw his mother coming along with Rohit’s and Antim’s mothers.  He rushed to his mother, held her saree and started sobbing. “Do not cry Shivam. Nobody is going to harm us. Be brave. Come let us go home.” Antim and Rohit also opened out their sobs holding their mothers’ sarees. Slowly they all walked home. There was no change outside the school. Everybody was busy with their work. The same rush as in the morning was present all over. The area was as busy as he had seen earlier. When they reached home, Mother held Shivam close to her chest. Shivam burst out crying. “I do not want to stay here. We will go back to Sultanpur. “ “Listen Shivam, there are some bad people who create such trouble. But many more good people are around us and nobody can harm us. Do not cry. Have lunch now and sleep near me. Nothing is going to trouble us. In the evening go out and play with your friends.” Shivam had lunch and after his mother finished her work and came to lie down for some time, slept very close to her holding end of her saree. He had a sound sleep for a couple of hours. When he got up, it was evening. Antim and Rohit came to call him to play. Shivam realized the day was getting over. He was so happy that nobody came to beat him up. The longest day of his life was getting over. He freshened up and went out to play with his friends

Reading Time: < 1 minute

MEMOIR                                                          

Many days have passed since I woke up

From the snooze at window seat of the local train

It has been many days since I lay down on moist grass

Watching the brightening eastern sky

It was many days ago that I got drenched

In the starlight of no moon night

It was long time back that I cleared my way

From the shrubs of the hill top     

It has been long since I tried       

To gather the moon rays entering my bedroom

It was distant past that I got titillated

In the sprinkles of old film songs               

It is long time since I had

Tantalizing drink session with my friends

It has been quite some time since I lost hundreds of rupees

Playing three cards with long lost friends  

For months I had no heated arguments

With my friends over the performance of a film actor

Many days have passed since I opened my heart out

and scribbled on a blank paper

I wonder whether the stranglehold of Covid-19, the world over

Has blunted my sensitive heart beats

Or the news of the deaths of known and adored persons

Has blinded the sight of my inmost mind and made me myopic